The Joy and Pain of Watching Your Kids Grow Up
Father's Day 2025
Fatherhood is the most meaningful, and deeply profound experience of my life. The most joyful thing I've ever done.
But also the most painful…
Painful, because I've had to confront the traumas and wounds from my own childhood, to be able to bring my best for my kids. I’m far from perfect, but I hope one day they'll see how much I tried, considering what I was given.
But even more so, it’s painful because you're watching them grow... the most beautiful pain I've ever felt is this.
Before children, the passing of time was never so evident to me, it was never so in my face. But when you have kids, especially in those early years, it's like a clock is always hanging over your head.
Tick Tock. Tick Tock.
My daughter will be seven before I know it. She's so big, I can barely hold her anymore. But I still do, because I want to cherish every second until she’s too big, or “too cool”, for me to hold her.
Lately she sees me toss her little brother in the air, and she asks me to throw her too. I can still do it, but it's a genuine effort.
But in those few seconds she's suspended in air, I see my little baby all over again. The one who was with me through the hardest parts of my life. The one who gave me strength when I wanted to give up. And I wish she would stop growing, only for a moment, so I could enjoy it just a little longer.
I look at her brother who is nearly two, and I think "I still have time", but I remember that as tiny and weightless as he feels in my arms now, it wasn't long ago when I could hold him in only one hand.
It wasn't long ago we were watching him struggle to crawl, sometimes going backwards instead of forward, and now I have to run to catch him when he tries to get away, looking back and giggling with joy while I chase him.
Being a father is a constant reminder for me to take account of my time. It's so easy to get lost. Lost in things that don't really matter, and forget the irreplaceable, invaluable experience I have right in front of me.
To myself, and to all the other fathers out there, remember this:
Take more pauses. Put the phone down much more often. Look away from the TV. Try your best to leave work at work.
When you look at your children, REALLY look at them. Look at them like they're the only thing in this world, because they are. For me at least, they're my whole world.
Never forget that.
Happy Father's Day.